If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
