Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
