if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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