Will you blow on my dice?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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