We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
