Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
