I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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