Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
