When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
