I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
