I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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