if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
