then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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