So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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