Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
