yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
