my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
There was a lot of him and a little penis
then he tried to convert me to islam
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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