I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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