This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
