I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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