Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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