Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
