Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize