He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
