It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
