He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
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There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
