i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
