So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
