Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize