Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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