My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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