of course. lets lasso hookers.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
