So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
