Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
