i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
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his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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