And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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