My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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