god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
