uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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