I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
