me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
