im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
