My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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