So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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