hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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