she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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