Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
