And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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