what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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