first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I supernannyed him into submission
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
