i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
