Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
