you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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