They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
