some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
