A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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