i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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