he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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