i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
