Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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