Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
