what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
