I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
