she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
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Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.