i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?