Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.