Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
