she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...