i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy