Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby" http://tfl.nu/pwve
  Replies (16) Good night (1395) Bad night (3562)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv
  Replies (28) Good night (6999) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good. http://tfl.nu/3acn
  Replies (19) Good night (1390) Bad night (6281)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's. http://tfl.nu/ot6m
  Replies (137) Good night (7054) Bad night (5596)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room. http://tfl.nu/1sdd
  Replies (7) Good night (1194) Bad night (3501)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon http://tfl.nu/rw5r
  Replies (10) Good night (3090) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful. http://tfl.nu/5n8j
  Replies (7) Good night (1989) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now http://tfl.nu/aqb9
  Replies (11) Good night (1952) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive. http://tfl.nu/eyz9
  Replies (8) Good night (915) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches http://tfl.nu/40rq
  Replies (1) Good night (1190) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor! http://tfl.nu/pz4b
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work? http://tfl.nu/q0sm
  Replies (7) Good night (567) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS. http://tfl.nu/2ps2
  Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.

  (917): View more from New York City

  So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid. (917): So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then? http://tfl.nu/rhd2
  Replies (2) Good night (458) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  update: I failed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B (908): update: I failed http://tfl.nu/ownp
  Replies (4) Good night (301) Bad night (487)

Randomize