Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.

  (207): View more from Maine

  sorry im really high

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  (207): You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage. (207): sorry im really high http://tfl.nu/3k8n
  Replies (11) Good night (1020) Bad night (1619)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.

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  (608): TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS. http://tfl.nu/ccyr
  Replies (11) Good night (2774) Bad night (768)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.

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  (+64): apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing. http://tfl.nu/xl08
  Replies (36) Good night (4208) Bad night (617)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

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  (901): Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore. http://tfl.nu/ntw9
  Replies (55) Good night (5487) Bad night (1342)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.

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  (412): on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on. http://tfl.nu/nsc2
  Replies (20) Good night (5525) Bad night (851)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.

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  (256): Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs. http://tfl.nu/y8sy
  Replies (23) Good night (2299) Bad night (4567)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body

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  (281): I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body http://tfl.nu/esoz
  Replies (17) Good night (3327) Bad night (970)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?

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  (971): I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo? http://tfl.nu/aefb
  Replies (11) Good night (4310) Bad night (796)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.

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  (601): I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise. http://tfl.nu/o61x
  Replies (32) Good night (5493) Bad night (1008)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.

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  (905): Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up. http://tfl.nu/c9v7
  Replies (9) Good night (761) Bad night (3106)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....

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  (320): I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early .... http://tfl.nu/6r9w
  Replies (12) Good night (2508) Bad night (841)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.

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  (541): I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night. http://tfl.nu/6kn4
  Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (858)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Watching her eat just hurts me

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  (303): Watching her eat just hurts me http://tfl.nu/nzv7
  Replies (7) Good night (437) Bad night (1010)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.

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  (716): The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West. http://tfl.nu/935n
  Replies (6) Good night (1160) Bad night (418)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.

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  (203): She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift. http://tfl.nu/rhgi
  Replies (4) Good night (302) Bad night (619)

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