I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?