Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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